urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark skidddmark skidddmark 2009-03-24T07:34:47Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:44564 2009-03-24T07:34:47Z 2009-03-24T07:34:47Z i dont understand some things<br /><br />i love the life that i have<br /><br />I am just tired of being disappointed with people<br /><br />everyone has always let me down, and its never been a guy<br /><br />ive never gotten close enough to a guy to let me down, and hurt me like others do<br /><br />i think ive developed a stigma when it comes to guys.<br /><br />subconsciously i cant allow a guy into my life for fear of being dejected, and hurt<br /><br />i always let people in, and so far those who've ive completely have hurt me really badly<br /><br />i dont know what to do<br /><br />i think i should js ignore it and start living my life<br /><br />im done worrying about others, i have to care for myself first<br /><br />im going to deal with me and take of me from now on! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:44292 2008-11-13T20:24:57Z 2008-11-13T20:24:57Z ok well ive been going on the uphill slope of a rollercoaster for the like 6 weeks, and now i'm finally over the hump and falling down. <br /><br />im still happy because i lead a good life, its js that you have to come down sometime. <br /><br />great time with friends and everything, but ive js gotten a little irritated with some, it should pass. i js need some time to think and time to be with others that ive neglected! im sorry!<br /><br />plus too much sugar is not good! haha STupiD cakes and cookie lab! damn 235. oh well. its something that i have to do. but yeah, i actually have a lot to do today so ima sign off and get my work done! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:44070 2008-10-20T07:39:00Z 2008-10-20T07:39:00Z ok well its been almost 2 years since ive updated. im not going to go into great detail but yeah here is a rundown of the past two years. <br /><br />sorta, <br />i got a job<br />i moved, then my roommate moved out<br />got my two best friends to move in with me.<br />went to japan<br />got a second job<br />was betrayed by my socalled best friends<br />was homeless and living in my car for 6 weeks<br />dropped out of school for the semester<br />moved in with my other friend<br />quit my second job<br />went back to school<br />moved to OC<br />went to taiwan<br />went to bartending school<br />made the best friend ever STACY!!! <br /><br /><br />ok so yeah, a lot has happened especially a lot of crap.<br />i think that ive matured a lot over the past 2 years. <br />im actually not angry all the time.<br />quite the contrary im pretty much always happy and everything. <br />i have great friends and i great time. i love my life<br /><br />sadly still no luck on the boyfriend front even though ive been looking for the past 7 years. ughhh, oh well<br /><br />cant have everything i want! <br /><br />ok so yeah. i love my life, and i love my friends.<br /><br /><br />i went to the cemetary to visit my family. in 8 days it will be the 21st anniversary of my grandma's death. so we went on saturday cuz i cant make it on the 28th. it felt really good. i havent been to the cemetary since i was 17 and my great aunt tita ramsey died. so yeah. im not really sure what to say. spent time with cousins the parents, and friends. been a really good day! just really tired and have a project due tomorrow. its group so i hope that everything will be finished on time, haha!<br /><br />I LOVE EVERYONE!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:43892 2006-12-07T05:37:24Z 2006-12-07T05:37:24Z well here i am, its prolly been about a year since i had an entry. well things are going good. im in a really good place right now. great friends awesome family. well not much has changed except that ive grown as a person. no boys right now as always. still single since dominic. but ehhh watev, im having an awesome time being single. anywho this should be long but i dont really feel like getting into how ive grown into a better person. oh yeah i didnt get my wii today but watev ill get it soon. but yeah so i guess thats all for now, BYeZ!!! 4 now urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:43633 2006-04-08T21:36:52Z 2006-04-08T21:36:52Z i hate di shit, im sick of relationships like this!!! thats it if sunday is fucked up. im done with relationships. until someone tries to get me. cuz i cant take this pain and waiting anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck it all! i hate you right now! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:43415 2006-03-29T10:18:33Z 2006-03-29T10:18:33Z i swear, i dont know why i do it. i get all excited and happy, and then nothing happens. the worst part is that I sadly let it interfere with my work. and practices and stuff. i cant allow that anymore. ill js have to sit back and see what happens. oh well im done for now. BYeZ!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:43248 2006-03-26T03:44:22Z 2006-03-26T03:44:22Z i hate it when i get all excited. cuz then nothing happens, and it was all js a waste of time, and i dont do the things that i need to get done because of it. JEEZ!!! why does this even have to happen to me. i wish for once i could get excited and have things work out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:42843 2005-11-05T09:10:52Z 2005-11-05T09:10:52Z i fucking hate my life now.<br />i thought i was ok but apparently im not.<br />im going to have to rethink my life and everything.<br />i have to get cracking on my homework, and stop worrying about other things. <br />its really starting to take a toll on every other aspect of my life.<br />i really js want to leave.<br />i need my family. (my cousins)<br />but there is no way for me to get them. FUCKING CAR I SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br /><br />i miss high school.<br />i miss my friends.<br />my friends here are iono its js not the same.<br />i didnt expect it to be the same but i did expect it to be better than it is now.<br />i really liked it the way it was 3 three weeks ago.<br />iono if ill ever beable to get back there.<br /><br /><br />i dont know anything anymore.<br />im js done for now.<br />maybe tomorrow will be a better day!<br /><br />sorry to be so solemn lately. its js that shit is piling and piling, there doesnt seem to be an end in sight.<br />everyday for the past 3 weeks everything has been getting worse! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:42623 2005-11-03T03:23:19Z 2005-11-03T03:23:19Z Vanessa Carlton - Twilight iono, i swear its so wierd, i have no idea how i survive. i swear that my life is perpetually falling apart, and i never seem to find a way to keep it in intact. i guess actually im still here because there are certain parts of my life that never faulter. my family, cousins. i love them so much. they are the only thing that has remained constant throughout all of my life. but everytime i try to do something or work at fixing something it either gets worse or something else falls apart. i guess im js never meant to be whole. im ok though cuz its js my reality and im used to it. im not writing this so others will feel bad for me. im js writing it cuz it is what it is. i have a few friends who have never left either actually. Emily i love you and thank you for always being there. and to my new friends at CSULB. you've been a great help. but really i guess my life is js to be ordinary, apparently im not meant to find someone who will show me how my life can be extraordinary. and if i find someone to. then that will be one of the greatest things every. but i just feel that that is not the case. oh well. im done ranting. and im done pissing others off. so ima js end this here. BYeZ!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:42379 2005-09-13T06:16:40Z 2005-09-13T06:17:41Z Rebekah Jordan - Tuesday 3 AM i don't get it, im js depressed. yeah im getting involved and enjoying everything, but i js dont understand why im so depressed, i have friends and everything, i got a hair cut today it looks totally awesome. and everyone likes it, but for some reason i cant seem to be happy, im afraid that i will never be happy. i js wish there was a way for me to be happy. i guess ill js have to find another way. BYeZ!!! i guess. watever urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:42162 2005-09-07T04:31:53Z 2005-09-07T04:31:53Z Tamia-Officially Missing You,Amerie-I Just Died,BEP-Don'tLie ok well over the weekend Kuya Mark picked me up and we went to Mikey's house, found out its only about 30 miles and minutes away. spent the day at Missy's labor day party, had lots of fun, with Lisa, Marika, Melissa, Missy, and Mikey. can't wait for next time. ok well yeah. they had a sleep over and i couldn't stay cuz my parents js got back from Mexico and wanted to go home, and i needed to pack up what i forgot last time. i really wish i couldve stayed but its ok. sunday packed and came back here, set up my computer and printer and everything. went to big lots, found out it has a lot kewl stuff that the one by my parents house doesn't have. then went to baja fresh for lunch with my parents. then came back and cleaned up a little more. monday waited for nicki and she never came, and she never called but what can i say shes always like that. watev, ive learned to deal. ok well yeah. then today had class, found out where the Language Lab is, and did japanese homework from last class and tonight. Went to math, took pretty notes on stuff that i dont need to learn but watev, its ok. did some japanese hiragana and stuff, filled out my ASI application. after class i went to the ASI recruitment night, and filled out some stuff. met a new friend Tammy, found Kate, and met two other girls who i can't remember their names, its ok ill get them down eventually. then went to "the lounge" the glbtrc (glbt resource center) and met a couple people, finish my Japanese. came home. called Lisa, and my Mom, checked my e-mail and stuff, and now im here, doing my homework. ok well yeah. i guess thats it. wow thats like the first post that i actually said what i did. haha!!! ok well yeah, gotta finish my homework and whatnot so BYeZ!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:41889 2005-08-30T18:18:06Z 2005-08-30T18:18:06Z ok well not much has really been going on. my apartment is ok for what it is. my roommate and i are going to get cable cuz we are dying without it. i can't wait to get my bike. really its actually kinda boring cuz all ive been doing is sleeping trying to make up for what i lost last week. thingsll get better. i js have to give it some time. ok well yeah im really bored so im gonna go. BYeZ!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:41630 2005-08-26T09:47:09Z 2005-08-26T09:47:09Z Kim Possible (TV) ok well yeah. I went back to Tigerheat tonight. it was so awesome. Jowenne and Kaiza went with. Kaiza seems really awesome. i really hope that we get to hang out again sometime. well they had some really great music. and everything was great. didnt get to see Kyle. but thats ok. maybe some other time. ok well yeah tomorrow, final, shannon's birthday, and then move in to my apartment on Saturday, HELL YEAH!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:41261 2005-08-23T02:14:15Z 2005-08-23T02:14:15Z Blaque - Questions ok well today was my first day of school, and i met a few people, they seem great. the class was 2:45 long. but it really didnt seem that long. anyway i have homework and everything. so yeah since i cant move into my apartment until saturday im commuting this week, bummer but its not that bad and its only a week. so anyway, on my way home i stopped by abercrombie, to see if VAL was there but she wasnt, i was really hoping that she would be, cuz i miss her so much. but its ok, ill see her later. well not im home and i have to do my homework, ill update later BYeZ!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:41190 2005-08-19T10:32:41Z 2005-08-19T10:32:41Z ok so yeah yesterday was my birthday HELL YEAH the 18th!!!<br />ok so i went to brunch with Jowenne, then got my ear pierced, couldn't afford to get both so js one for now. went to work to visit one of the last times. went to the movies with my parents saw four brothers, it was a really good movie by the way. then i went with Tiff to Tgerheat. it was my first time, and it was awesome cuz it was my birthday and everything. yeah had a great time. and and everything. js surprised that i didnt see anyone that i knew there. oh wellz maybe next time or watev. im tired so im out. NYTZ!!! BYeZ!!! everyone. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:40831 2005-08-02T19:28:25Z 2005-08-02T19:28:25Z Ashanti - Baby ok so im here at mikey's house. and yeah. everything is going fine. we went to the mall and everything. and we spent time with Marcus. hes so cute. i love that little boy. and Missy, Lisa, and I were up all night talking. we were supposed to go to Six Flags today but that didnt work out because we were up all night and Auntie Malou didn't want me driving on no sleep. so its ok. so we are js chilling and shit. we are going to go to pasadena today and get an apple keyboard and go visit Shannon. and well yeah i guess thats about it. BYeZ!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:40462 2005-07-07T21:43:54Z 2005-07-07T21:43:54Z Teairra Mari - Make Her Feel Good ok well yeah<br /><br />sick right now, going to the doctors, have an appointment at 3:15. hope they can cure me cuz it really sux. im too sick to really have fun, but im not too sick to work. it js really sux. other than that im going out with Danielle tonight. can't wait, we're prolly gonna see Mr. & Mrs. Smith (can't believe its taking this long).<br /><br />oh yeah bought the new missy elliot cd (the day it came out, OH YEAHS!!!)<br />its wierd not seeing kyle at Best Buy anymore, yeah i know hes been gone for like 3 months, maybe longer or watev, but i havent really gone much, cant afford anything there, so yeah!!!<br /><br />going to long beach tomorrow to check out the apartment fair. i want one but my dad is a little skeptical because i dont know anyone and itd be easier to get an apartment with friends after the first year, but really i have no choice so watev. i'm js really looking forward college, and leaving the valley, finally!!! hehehee!<br /><br />ok so yeah not much else is really going on. js diong watev. alrightieez!! BYeZ!!! YALL! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:40326 2005-06-29T08:08:27Z 2005-06-29T08:08:27Z you know im giving up on her. i love her. but if she can't take of herself and she causes me to hurt my cousin that is where i draw the line. <br /><br />im done. <br /><br />nicki is so hurt. ive never seen anyone so devastated because of what my mother did to her. she told me not to go and she told i was not allowed to pic up our friend allison. i fucking swear. i cant take this shit anymore. i need to fucking get out of this house b4 something bad happens to me. i know it will. my father is awesome but my mother is driving me and everyone else crazy. she calls me on the phone mad and everyone hears and they are just like whatever, cuz thats all they hear from her now. its complete bullshit. they are surprised but it js doesnt matter anymore becuz all we do is fight. it js isnt worth my time anymore to try and make her feel good. that is her job towards me. not to sound all conceited and shit but mothers are supposed to be there for the children not the other way around. every time something happens i have to be the one to take care of her. not my father not my sister, not my brother who happens to be her favorite. ME!!! everytime i think something bad is going to happen i clear the way for her, i try to sheild her and everything and yet she never does anything for me. i cant stand it anymore. i know it sounds like im taking the easy way out but its about time that i take care of myself and the business i feel is important. like taking care of nicki for the bullshit that my mother helped create. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:39994 2005-06-22T07:36:57Z 2005-06-22T07:36:57Z Fatty Koo - Bounce, Natalie ft Baby Bash - Energy ok well not much is really happening.<br /><br />still looking for a boyfriend<br />still working at pac sun<br />going to the gym<br />hanging out with friends<br />hanging out with Jowenne a lot<br />trying to hang out with Lisa.<br />and hanging with the other cousins. really not much else<br /><br /><br />although i found a pair of girls jeans that make my ass look HAWT!!! so ima by them today after work. <br /><br />really all i have to do is finish my thank you cards. but other than that everything is about the same. ok wellz yeah BYeZ!!! for now. ill update soon i hope! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:39778 2005-04-02T06:30:48Z 2005-04-02T06:30:48Z INOJ - My Boo (took 6 yrs 2 fnd dis sng, DAYAM!!!) ok well i got my rejection from UCI on like Saturday. and i got my rejection from UCB today! oh well i guess it js wasnt for me. but at least there is always Long Beach. and i still have the appeals process that might change their minds. ok well yeah. im ok<br />got one of my wisdom teeth extracted today. im fine. no real pain and i was awake when they did it. yeah i know KWAZII huh??? haha! and yeah. i have to make another appointment to get the other 2 pulled later. so yeah. im totally done for right now. im ok though with everything. <br />on a side note i had been talking to this guy for a few days but iono what happened. im ok though. its not that he left or anything its js that its not the same. who knows. watev. with college around the corner it doesnt really matter to me if i have a bf b4 then or not. but i would like to have a male date for prom. who wants to help me get one??? hehehe!!! ok well yeah i gess that that is it. oh yeah i got my camera today and verything. and i cant wait till saturday when i get to see my cousins again. and i get to go to a sweet 16 party on Saturday. so yeah everything should be awesome. this has been the greatest spring break ever. i can't wait till college. it will be even better. ok yeah. well we'll see what happens. i miss everyone and can't wait to see everyone on monday. BYeZ yall!!!! <br />Loves, Hugs, and Kisses (smooches) hehe!!!<br />Jeison, Jason, Xander, whoever i am now. HEHEHE!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:39233 2005-03-25T21:36:25Z 2005-03-25T21:36:25Z Faye Wong - Eye on Me 1. Give me a new nickname and explain why you picked it.<br />2. Am I loveable?<br />3. How long have you known me?<br />4. When and how did we first meet?<br />5. What was your first impression?<br />6. Do you still think that way about me now?<br />7. What do you think my weakness is?<br />8. Do you think I'll get married?<br />9. What makes me happy?<br />10. What makes me sad?<br />11. What reminds you of me?<br />12. If you could give me anything what would it be?<br />13. How well do you know me?<br />14. When's the last time you saw me?<br />15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?<br />16. Do you think I could kill someone?<br />17. Describe me in one word.<br />18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?<br />19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?<br />20. If there were a movie about my life, who would play me?<br />21. Who would play you in the movie about my life?<br />22. Who is my hero?<br />23. Wanna make out?<br /><br />i stole this from michella who stole it from someone named igby<br /><br />COMMENT YALL!!!, urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:39035 2005-03-25T09:25:12Z 2005-03-25T09:27:06Z Faye Wong - Eyes on Me Aaliyah - More Than A Woman<br><a href="http://www.musicfeet.com" target="_blank">Invalid video URL.<p>Get More Music Videos @ MusicFeet.com</a><br /><br />Alicia Keys - Fallin<br><a href="http://www.musicfeet.com" target="_blank">Invalid video URL.<p>Get More Music Videos @ MusicFeet.com</a><br /><br /><br />Black Eyed Peas - Let's Get It Started<br><a href="http://www.musicfeet.com" target="_blank">Invalid video URL.<p>Get More Music Videos @ MusicFeet.com</a><br /><br />Invalid video URL.<br><a href="http://www.musicfeet.com" target="_blank"> dc talk - since i met you <p>- Get More Music Videos @ MusicFeet.com</a><br /><br />Invalid video URL.<br><a href="http://www.musicfeet.com" target="_blank"> alanis morissette - ironic <p>- Get More Music Videos @ MusicFeet.com</a><br /><br /><br><a href="http://www.musicfeet.com" target="_blank">Invalid video URL.<p>Get More Music Videos @ MusicFeet.com</a><br /><br />Lumidee - Crashin' A Party<a href="http://www.musicfeet.com" target="_blank">Invalid video URL.<p>Get More Music Videos @ MusicFeet.com</a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:38735 2005-03-20T08:30:33Z 2005-03-20T08:30:33Z Inuyahsa (TV) ok so today i log onto myspace and there is a msg and here is what it says<br /><br />"hey u are kinda hot i would like to get to no u" wtf is that all about. and secondly ok my profile say "GAY"!!!! hello! and its from some random chick who lives in washington. how does that help her. i mean lets say i was straight. how does her living in there and me here in CA help here. hmmm...? lets js think about this a little... it doesnt. JEEZ! that js made me feel wierd. especially since im only "kinda hot" im not ugly, im not cute, im definately not hot, im only kinda. wtf does that mean? someone pz tell me!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />on a side note gotta finish my goddamn research paper!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:38536 2005-03-04T02:20:01Z 2005-03-04T02:20:01Z Koda Kumi - 1000 no Kotoba, Kyoko Fukada - Into the Light ok well im now 4 for 4<br /><br />got into UC Riverside. now only waiting to hear from UC Irvine and Berkeley. COME ON BERKELEY, I HAVE TO GET IN!!!!!!<br /><br />HAHA!!!<br /><br />ok well yeah.<br />today wasnt so bad, took my religion test and surprisingly knew most of it, except for my second essay, so who knows what the hell i got on that test. HAHA!!! i really shouldve studied. and then Calculus was fun, tood the test, i think i got everything right. HERE'S hoping, didnt have time to do the extra credit, because i was messed up in the math on one of them and finally realized what i was doing wrong and had to start over, taking up a grip of time. then i went to English and actually got more than i thought i would done. who knows how good it is, or if it even has anything to do with my topic. haha! ok well yeah. now im busy doing econ homework that will be assigned tomorrow (i know crazy not only am i doing my homework [at home] but also doing it early!). and then i have to do my review questions for Buddhism for religion and whatnot. then yeah, i prolly have more things to do, but dunno yet. ill do watev later when i have the time. HAHA!!! ok BYeZ!!! gotta go finish my homieworkie. c yallz tomorrow. and see anyone whose going to Knotts at Knotts. Love you all, and cant wait for tomorrow night. BYeZ!!!<br /><br />P.S. (ahh thats so cute, i totally match the icon. yeah i know obviously you have to cuz you need to post from a computer, but it also represents a feeling of accomplishment for me, iono why it js does, haha!!!) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:skidddmark:38350 2005-02-25T04:50:16Z 2005-02-25T04:50:16Z J. Lo - Baby I Love You <table width="400" align="center" border="1" bordercolor="black" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2"> <tr><td bgcolor="#66CCFF" align="center"><br /><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style="color:black; font-size: 14pt;"><br /><b>Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male</b></font></td></tr> <tr><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><br /><br /><font color="#000000"><br />Your brain leans female<br /><br />You think with your heart, not your head<br /><br />Sweet and considerate, you are a giver<br /><br />But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!</font></td></tr></table><br /><br /><div align="center"><br /><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/genderbrainquiz/">What Gender Is Your Brain?</a><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br />this is me, who are you?<br />haha!!!